The day our lives changed forever 3/7

3/7/2019 makes my heart pound irregularly and makes me nauseous to think about it. It was the big kids open house and they were looking forward to us being there that night. That morning was any normal morning. I laid in bed too long, snuggled up next to the person I love. He wrapped his arms around me and told me I was "trapped" and I couldn't go. Technically, he said "WE were both trapped" (speaking about me and the ever present little girl growing in my belly). I got up to shower before I go in like I always do and progressed with getting up and ready for work. When I was ready I sleepily wandered over to the bed to get my hug and kiss like I normally do. He told me "I love you, be careful." Just like he always does and I responded back with "I love you too. Always." Before I left I inquired about when his probation meeting was and he told me and then promised to text when he was up and about. All of this is normal, I went off to work and didn't think twice about it. Had I known he was going to be taken from me that day I would have held him longer, I would have taken a half day, and I would have kissed him one more time before I left for work. I knew none of these things at this time. I had no idea the rug was about to be pulled out from under me. While I was sitting at my desk he told me he was up and about and asked where the Red Box movie was from the night before so he could return it after his meeting. You know, normal mundane shit that everyone in a relationship takes for granted. Usually his meetings with the probation officer are 30-45 min MAX. So when 40 min passed and I didn't here anything I got a little antsy and sent him a message. It came back green so I panicked a little further (we both have imessage so it typically shows up blue). Still, I tried to quell my anxious tendencies and talk myself off the ledge; "No nothing is wrong, he probably is just still in the black hole that is the probation office". Then it happened, a strange call from an unknown number. I initially ignored it like I do all spam calls. I sent it to voicemail and almost instantly the phone was ringing again. I answered apprehensively, on the other end of the phone was the man I love. He says "Mami, I don't want you to panic, but ICE has me." I immediately lost it. My heart sunk, I felt sick, I started crying and I had no idea what to do. I was 100% helpless like a fledgling baby bird that had fallen from the nest. Doomed for all of the ground level predators to pray on it. My head is spinning at this point and I am having a heard time processing what is going on. He tells me, I need to come get the keys to his truck from him at the holding facility in Dallas, so I can bring it home. He's getting transported to another facility at 2:00pm. I can't see him at the holding facility but I will be able to see him in Alvarado. I drop everything I'm doing at work and walk out. Not a word is said to anyone. I log into my request app and request the rest of the day and the following day off. Sorry work, I have my life crumbling around me and need to make an attempt to handle it. All I know is I'm driving to Dallas to get his keys. I call attorneys, I try anything I can't think of. I'm driving on the highway and I can barely see with tears streaming down my cheeks. My labored breathing for once is from something other than me being pregnant. My whole body is shaking like it's preparing to go into a full force convulsion. I have never been so scared in my life. Am I going to lose the man I love? All for a silly DWI that he was on probation for? When I get there I ask about his bond. ICE claimed they couldn't set one, after a meeting with an attorney I found out, that was a lie. Because of his DWI they automatically move him to a detention center where they let an immigration judge decide weather he wants or doesn't want to set the bond. I get his keys and head home after my meeting with an attorney. That evening is the big kids open house, their dad and his new fiance are there and her daughter as well. Scarlett, my oldest, asks where Cesar is and I just told her he was out for a little bit. I didn't want to tell her the truth, mostly because I didn't want me or her crying at her open house. As soon as I left the open house I lost my shit. Crying again non-stop. A mixture of mucus and tears running down my face. I honestly didn't even know one person could produce that much fluid in one day. I go home and hit the internet, researching everything I can. Looking into the "10 year law" and worst case scenario "voluntary departure". I don't sleep but 4 hours, hoping he will call. I am filled with such extreme despair at this point I'm not eating or sleeping. Both of these are things a pregnant woman should be doing. I have been told by some people I "have no hope if ICE has him he's as good as gone". Others ignorantly ask "why we didn't just get married to save him?"."That's not how it works", I sigh. But that we will get into more detail with later. The day winds down. I sleep intermittently like I use to when the kids were babies. Every little tiny noise jolts me awake thinking he is going to call or all of this will be over and it's a terribly real nightmare. However, he doesn't call and I wake up without him... my nightmare continues.